Unfamiliar Territory

This is the first time in my life that I'm trying to simply be healthier instead of trying to lose weight.  Honestly, before this, I was either dieting to lose weight or regretting what I was eating because it would make me gain weight.  This whole experience is new to me.  Being comfortable and even feeling beautiful in my current body is new to me, but I'm getting more and more used to it.  I can't even begin to explain how refreshing it is!

First, there's absolutely no stress involved.  I'm starting to not feel guilty when I eat something unhealthy.  I enjoy indulging, actually.  More importantly, though, I'm enjoying the new, healthier habits I'm forming.  For example, today, Mom Laurie brought over sandwich stuff for lunch.  I had a sandwich, but instead of bread, I used roasted, sliced sweet potato.  It was soooo good, and since the texture of the potato is softer, I didn't even need mayo.

I'm still human.  I will always be human.  I will eat cheesecake and chips when I want to.  What I have been noticing, though, is that I am starting to "want to" less and less. My body is responding very positively to the good things I've been putting in it.  I actually crave my Arbonne shakes in the morning, and even packed with kale, probiotics, and other veggies and fruits, they seriously taste like milkshakes!

Well, goodnight!  I hope this is encouraging for those of you who may be enslaved to the horribly frustrating endeavor of trying to lose weight.  I've been there.  I was there the majority of my life.  Hugs to you all.

The Point System

I'm a very competitive person.  Like...losing-my-crap-over-a-sand-volleyball-game competitive.  I like competing...but most of all, I like winning.  It has been ingrained in me ever since I watched my first Green Bay Packer game and realized how badly I wanted my team to win.

Recently, Bobby and Katie started a point system.  Basically, they get a few points for healthy choices that they make, and lose points for making unhealthy choices.  Once they reach a certain level of points, they get to reward themselves with something of their own choosing.

Naturally, I decided to join in.  Nothing makes healthy living more fun than making a game out of it AND getting a prize if I win!  I'm basically competing against myself.  I have decided to reward myself with a pedicure once I reach 500 points.  That way, I can look down at my increasingly unkempt toes and remind myself to keep on going.

For the past few weeks, I have been trying to cut dairy, gluten, and processed sugars out of my diet with no success, so I decided to deduct points every time I take a bite with one of those yummy yet evil ingredients in it.

How do I gain points?  Well, basically by doing things that are healthy for my life, such as drinking an Arbonne shake blended with fresh kale, or drinking 32 oz of water.  Also, since I tend to live on the messier side of life, I give myself points for things like cleaning the kitchen and vacuuming.

I'm really excited.  Let the competition against myself begin!

Time to Change

It's time for a change.  I really want to get physically healthy, but that's not the change I'm talking about.  The change that needs to happen is in my own attitude and feelings of self worth.

The need for an internal makeover hit me hard yesterday.

I decided to wear a casual maxi dress for the day since it was hot out.  Maybe some of you can relate to what went though my head when I looked at myself in the mirror...

"Ugh!  I must have gained weight since the last time I wore this dress.  I look so disgusting!  My arms have visible dimples and my back fat is hanging over the back.  I can see my muffin top and my butt looks really flabby.  I feel so bloated!  I really have no business wearing this dress, but  then again, I don't look good in anything I wear right now.  I'll just wear it anyway.  I'll make sure to wear my hair down to hide my ugly shoulders.  I really wish I was more tan.  Why can't I just stop eating cake and brats and pizza?  How come other people can eat whatever they want and be so skinny?  I'm so ugly!  I've never been this ugly before!  Having children really took its toll on me.  I wish I didn't have to go anywhere today.  Ugh, ugh, UGH!"

After deciding to wear the dress anyway (mostly due to the fact that I didn't have anything else clean to wear in this heat), I walked upstairs.  As soon as my three-year-old daughter saw me, she got a HUGE smile on her face and said, "Mama!  You look so beautiful in your pretty dress!"

I just stood there and broke into tears.  Years upon years of feeling ugly, chubby, embarrassed, inadequate, and frustrated were just washed away by my daughter's sweet voice.  In her eyes, I'm beautiful.  She doesn't look at magazines or watch movies yet, so she doesn't know what society's version of beauty is.  To her, I look like a beautiful princess, even if I'm not wearing makeup.  Even if I'm not a size 5 anymore. Even if the sagging skin on my tummy hangs over my pants.  Even if I have stretch marks.

What in the world have I been thinking?  What kind of example have I been setting for my sweet, innocent daughters?  What sort of mental pain have I been bringing upon myself?  Why in the world do I feel like I have to fit into a box...or look like anyone else's version of "pretty"?

Well, no more.  If you know me personally, you can hold me accountable for this.  I'm quitting cold-turkey.  I will never again complain about my physical appearance.  I will never again compare my outward appearance to anyone else.  That's just nonsense.

I am going to re-commit to being healthy and making better choices, but this time it's going to be different.  I am not going to weigh myself or take any "before and after" photos.  I'm simply going to blog about my healthy living journey so I can show how these products help me feel better...on the inside.  I have been feeling sluggish, tired, sore, crabby, and just blah lately.  I know for a fact that it's related to what I have been eating.  That's going to change.  I want to feel healthier and more energetic so I can be more present for my life and my little girls.

I'll post my first blog tomorrow, but this change is effective immediately.  It's time.

Thank you for reading, and thank you all for your support!

* Due to the nature of this post, I didn't use a filter for this photo. :)

Sarah

Day 27

Dear blog followers...

My sincerest apologies for my lack of posts!  Turns out that when my amazing company has their conference in Vegas, I have way too much fun and forget to blog.

I was definitely not perfect in Vegas.  I had a volcano burger (chili, guacamole, Frito's, etc.), the best sweet potato fries I've had on my life, some yummy mixed drinks, Mexican food, Chinese food, etc, and for crying out loud...they had a Haggen Dazs smoothie factory right in my hotel!

I also attended the Arbonne new managers celebration, where they provided free food and drinks for everyone.  It was the fanciest party I have ever been to and MAN did I indulge!

But guess what...

I came back and I had not gained a pound!  We walked a lot while we were there and I was still replacing two meals a day with the Arbonne shakes.  I was so happy that I could just relax and not worry about what I ate in Vegas and still maintain my weight!  Thank you Arbonne!  Also, they came out with two new weight management products that I samples while there.  That definitely helped :).  I will blog more about them when they come in the mail :).

Well, in going to go downstairs and walk on the treadmill for a bit.  For your viewing pleasure, here is a photo of some of the food I had in Vegas:

~ Sarah

Day 17

Even though I didn't blog yesterday, I have to post a photo of yesterday's breakfast.  It was just so beautiful!  I had an organic fried egg over wilted spinach with avocado, organic mango peach salsa, and cilantro. It was absolutely delectable.

Today, Katie and the girls and I got our for a walk.  It was so nice to get some fresh air and exercise.  We have a lot of hills by our place, and E made us carry her half of the time, so I got plenty of exercise!

Ok...I just have to take a few moments to go on a mini positive rant about this plan I'm on.  I absolutely love the Arbonne healthy living products and here's why:

- I'm on a tight budget while I'm on maternity leave, and replacing meals with the shakes is saving me a bunch of money.
- I love the taste of the shakes and the different recipes I can try just by blending them.  I never get bored!
- I can use the shakes for a long period of time because there's no crap in them.  They're actually good for me.
- I don't have to eat perfectly all the time.  I really haven't had to give up anything.  I've lost weight even though Easter weekend and my anniversary both happened in the first two weeks of this plan.
- I would be on this plan even if I wasn't an Arbonne consultant.
- You all already know how much I love the fizzy energy drinks!

Anyway, thanks for reading today!  I'm off to snuggle some babies.  Hubby is coming home which makes me happy.  Until the next blog!

~ Sarah

Day 15

Hello world!

I was 173.4 lbs this morning for my weigh in.  That puts me at about 8 lbs of weight loss so far and I'm at the halfway point!  I'm very excited about that!

Today, I made some healthy treats for myself.  I made some more sweet potato chips and some homemade chocolates using coconut oil, honey, and cocoa (Katie...yours are still better).  I also made some protein bars for Hubby using the Arbonne protein shake mix, oats, peanut butter, honey, a pinch of salt, and some ground up chocolate covered peanuts.  There's a ton of energy in this recipe!

This evening, I had the pleasure of bringing my Arbonne healthy living products into the home of some lovely folks!  I had so much fun sharing the information and making protein shakes for them to sample. It was a lot of fun!

Once E is in bed tonight, I'm going to hit the treadmill again.  I felt so energetic today after working out yesterday.

Oh...and since I'm at the halfway mark, I figured I would put up another picture to show you my progress.  Until the next blog!

~ Sarah

Day 14

I feel really good about today!  I made a batch of my favorite cookies in the world, and even though I wanted to eat five or six (which, I'm ashamed to say, is pretty normal), I only ate one.  After that, I spent 30 minutes walking on the treadmill.

I had two shakes today, and for dinner I made some beef stew with veggies and potatoes.  I ate a little bit of it over rice.  I also enjoyed a cup of Detox Tea.

I'm really hoping to get back on the treadmill tomorrow.  It feels really good to exercise like that again!  I'm definitely starting to feel more energized on this plan.  Also, I'm super excited that my Dad is joining me on this journey starting tomorrow!

Until then...

~ Sarah